Presence Over Absence

Got blood test results back for my cat Muji today. 12 year old exotic shorthair.

Noticed him wobbling over the weekend. Took him to the vet. Bloods came back showing anaemia, elevated liver enzymes, something the vet could feel wrong in his abdomen.

I have a pretty high expectation of where this is going. The ultrasound isn't to hope for good news. It's to understand what we're managing so his remaining time is as comfortable as possible. That ultrasound costs $1200, and it won't fix anything. It just tells you how to make him comfortable.

What does someone do in that situation without that money? Not a rhetorical question. What do you actually do when you love something and the only option within your capability is nothing?

The other thing I keep sitting with. I'm home. I can be with him through whatever this looks like. I'm not in an office checking my phone between meetings hoping someone else is watching him.

Three weeks ago I didn't have either of those things. The money to give him proper care, or the time to actually be here for it. Both of them required decisions that I wasn't sure about when I made them.